Monday 16 January 2012

NME 100 New Bands of 2012 Reviewed Day 3 (21-30)

Today's artist will undergo an X-Factor like scenairo... because really someone should be policing all the various emerging talent nights around the country and not in that lacklustre, show potential sort of way but in a "you should really give it a rest, the only people that like you are your mum (and the only artist she really like it's mariah carey so what the fuck does she know anyway..." sort of a way...

Of Course the following 10 have progressed past that status and none would get anywhere in the real talent "can you sing in a generic way that is marketable to anyone under the age of 18, over the age of 50, labotimised british public or the others than dont really like music..." shows...


21) PATTERNS

It'a yes from me.... big opening chorus, nice pedal looped distorted guitars, nice if slightly overwrought lyrics, reverbed enough to make them sound like a harmony, i mean of course it has elements that sound like a lad rock band hit the wrong pedal and went space rock White Lies Karaoke, but lots of potential here, which I hope doesn't get bogged down in what has come before.

22) KREAYSHAWN
if the idea of Ke$ha going rap and time traveled back to the 2.27 seconds that Uffie was cool in 2006, then I think you'll probably dig this pure excuse for "music" that is only likely to be enjoyed by teenage girls who's idea of culture is a Jersey Shore marathon. Go Home Love.

23) HOW TO DRESS WELL & 24) PALMISTRY

Not sure how or why How To Dress Well Or Palmistry are on this list and despite the obvious genius, the likeliness that this will transcend the mindset of your average NME Reader in 2012 is slim to none. Nor do I imagine a hungry hoard of Vaccines fans to be boning their girlfriends to either of these this year. File Under Hipster. Excellent though.

26) BRETON
If Jamie T died, Tom Vek was blugeoned to death (and anyone cared) and anyone actual gave a fuck about nu-rave... then Breton might make it. No-one does. The End.

27) FILTHY BOY
This is just what the music industry wants us to like? Someone pretending to be Nick Cave pretending to be Mike Flowers???


28) ALL THE YOUNG

If you think ladrock is still being sidelined by Music in the tens and you really really liked Viva Brother, cannot wait for the new Twang album and dont understand why your the only one- All The Young. New Favourite Band. Give Me A Fucking Break.


29) THE CAST OF CHEERS

I like the name far more than the band, imagine if this band was Ted Danson, Rhea Perlman, Norm and Woody Harrleson... wouldnt that be amazing?!? even if they were really shit, it was still be amazing! The Cast of Cheers sound like Two Door Cinema Club/Foals Overruns, judging solely on Goose, I think this a good call, its catchy, simplistic structured hooky pop and like I said... good name.

30) THE JEZABELS
Awful Name The Jezabels and basically we've all heard this before, it's basically Chrissie Hynde fronting howling bells... which to be fair could just be the shoegaze pretenders anyway, The Jezabels will do okay but I'd probably kick em out in the next round.

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